Tag: #simplyeccentric

Yearend reflections

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Fiercer, bolder, decisive; traits that until now, I still wish to be me.

This year has been a big roller coaster ride; emotionally, mentally, and physically. I had my worst asthma attack that took over a month before I overcome. And while I can barely manage to move around, a challenging twist occurred. I must choose between peace and financial assistance. I opted for peace.

Peace is a mental and an emotional state that no amount of money can compensate. While money is essential to live, peace is a necessity for existence. We should not just live, we have to exist.

Though my 2025 ended with a heavy twist, I had a good run during the year. I have been to some beautiful countries weaving memories and enrinching experiences. Travelling was a childhood dream. I remember during my fifth-grade class, our teacher asked us what our dreams are. I eagerly replied “I want to be a flight steward so I can travel to many countries for free.”

Ironically, my dream has become my respite. I have been travelling to go away from the gruelling challenge of facing an ugly phase of my life. My life has always been on a balance, with a wrong shift, it will fall and shatter.

So much for the drams, now I have woken up. I should continue to exist and face the challenges head on. I must level up my travel, not as a respite but an adventure. I must work hard to attain my wish too.

Change is always tough but drowning in misery is tougher.

Capping this (emotional) narrative with warm wishes to everyone. Hope you all have a joyful yearend celebration.

A blessed New Year to all!

Month-end thought

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Capping the month of March with this thought: Why expect an excellent result when you know one’s limitations.
I had a breathing test for an hour today. I am connected to a machine, stuffed with a mouthpiece, and my nose clipped while I sat inside a closed cubicle.
I have to breathe through my mouth only; breath in, breath out, and blow. We did these several times depending on the speed and the length. Aside from feeling tired, I was perspiring because my claustrophobia seemed to have catch up on me.
The attendant gave me then three puffs of Ventolin. She asked me to rest for 10 minutes. We redo some of the procedures.
After going through the same routines, the attendant finally told me, you could have done better. My mind shouted: WHAT?
Trembling and feeling dizzy, I told the attendant, “Thank you and sorry. That was the most I can do.” I left and looked for a corner where I can regain my strength and compose myself.

Dreams

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There are those far from real.
But in our minds, they thrive, they live.
When we sleep, they are within our reach.
Once we are awake, in flicker they vanish.

There are also those elusive
Much as we hold them, they get lost.
Tie them with chain and they will choke!
Loosen the grip and they break loose.

Dreams take us high; some take us down.
Others impair and make us dumb.
But for the naught dreams are the force
To live, to breath, to exist.

Broken Record

GloriaHG1 Comment

It is sunny,
yet inside
pouring rain drains me
like wilted plant
I am soggy,
bereft with life
drowned in misery.

Endless stream
flows unceasingly
haunted by past, so uncanny;
like broken record
stocked, unmoved
plays repeatedly.

Strong wind, I pray passes
and drive, and swift
and take it away
break it to dust
spread like stardust
to nowhere it remains untouched.


A note to self

GloriaHGLeave a comment

Hi Gloria, felicitations on your half-century and five years of existence. You know you are tough, after having been to the door of death twice, you are still there enjoying the gift of life.

You have gone through many difficult and some extreme challenges but you remain unperturbed. Your face shows no traces of pain nor failure. You have perfected the act of smiling even under duress. No one will expect that beyond your smiley face, streams of tears have cascaded.

As you add another year to your lifeline, it is about time you focus on living your life; see more places, visit more flea markets, accomplish your dream of writing your memoir, and publish your book of poems.

I know you have a hard time getting over the idea that your working life is over, but do not fret. Be happy that you do not have the need to get up early and join the long queue at LRT/MRT to go to work on time. From a weary commuter, you now fly conveniently onboard a jumbo bird seeing places. You should realize that beyond your hard life, you are more blessed than unfortunate.

By this time, you should have also learned how to be a bit selfish, do things that will give you joy without feeling guilty. Being conscientious to your needs is not a crime, this you should always keep in your mind. And always remember that happiness depends solely on your own choices.

Continue to be what you are and not others want you to be.

There are so many things that I want to tell you but I will keep them for the next time. For now, enjoy the moment with your children. I know they are the jewels in your crown, your citadel of strength and hope.

You are lucky and privileged to be more than their mom; you are their friend, their buddy, and their obscure critic. You may not be a successful wife but surely you have done great being a mother.

Have a happy birthday and continue living your life!